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Every 5 or 10 or 800 years, a group of true artists come together under divine command to produce art that transcends culture, history and the Universe. You hear a band on your friend's facebook and you think, "Wow, this band is really good. It's like the Beach Boys - just without the sappy love songs." But then you think, "Actually...no, this sounds nothing like The Beach Boys, really. Plus, there are plenty of sappy love songs here." You try to forget about it and you turn on ESPN to drown it out the melodies that keep buzzing in your head, but now they are only more profound, more sweet-sounding. You ask yourself what it is that makes this music so incredibly catchy, so deeply arresting, but you can't yet grasp the cosmic significance. Suddenly, you are humming melodies against your own will and snapping your fingers uncontrollably. You begin to find that you are unable to perform the most basic of tasks - food becomes impossible to masticate, your favorite movie cannot be watched, the cutest kitten cannot be stroked. You experience an uncanny joy, the kind you thought you could never experience with your clothes on. You are literally the happiest you have ever been in your life.
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